i have not posted over the past few days due to things being a bit out of control. However today i find myself completely drained but wanting to post about it.
I took my daughter to ge5 her 8 week jabs today. I have had this appointment booked for a while and everyone who has had a child and done this told me it would be horrible. They all said you will feel bad and that it is distressing. This is something i can now fully agree with….
I found myself okay with everythinv to start with….the health visitor saw me and my daughter and did all her measurements and weighed her. 11 pounds and 7 ounces now, i could not be any happier with that when zhe told me the biggest smile came across my face and simultaniously so did one on Liliths face. I know she has no ideas as to what weight 8s but mummy was smiling so she copied. Lilith was very relaxed 2ith people poking her and making sure she was developing fine. OHhhhh how things changed…..
After an hour we finally got to the dreaded part of the check up. The jabs. The nurse explained to me what she was getting and why its good to get it done. I signed the consent form with baited breath, i felt like i was signing my life away. Lilith had fallen asleep so i had to wake her up which she and i do not enjoy doing anx then sat her on my lap. First jab, cried her little heart out and automatically i started crying as well and apologising to her. The second jab was worse…..there was nothing as a mother i could do but give her a cuddle and cry my eyes out. I felt aweful letting her be in pain like that and i pbysically could not take it away.
An afternoon full of winges when she forgets she had the jabs and gets a pain. Lots of cuddles off mummy and daddy and a few doses of baby paracetamol she is finally all tucked up in bed and hopefully will have a good nights sleep and forget about the whole ordeal.
I feel completely drained emotionally today. It was not a nice thing to go through. I know any parent does….if you have already, how did you cope?
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