Changing for the better….

Hello everyone,

So im now back, thanks to pregnancy and other life events it has provented me from posting on here with pretty photographs. However, i plan on keeping a good steady flow of updates with this blog now i have my camera back and things are sorted.

Life Update:
Pregnancy has been a long and tiring 9 months and 2 days. I was 40+2 before anything birthing wise happened. Me and my partner wayne went into the hospital after a very calm and collective “water break” situation. No freaking out just a little bit of a panic on my behalf but nothing OTT when it came to my waters going. Phoned my midwife who told us to ring the hospital and go in, which we did. Nerv wrecking trip to the hospital as we were convinced it was nothing and i was going to be in slow labour so they would just send us home and then we would have to wait for the contractions etc to be bad before staying in. How wrong we were…. Got in there and they monitored everything, straps on my tummy to hear the baby and BP checks etc where carried out on me. Whilest we were waiting my mother decided she would worry so wayne had to go and ring her so she didnt fill up my voicemail and his with messages. As he was ringing her i lay there waiting to hear “oh go home and see how you go” from a midewife. As i trolled through facebook on my phone a lovely midwife came in and explained to me that there was traces of mconium in my waters and that they have broken so i will need to be induced, so the baby was coming this weekend.
A HUGE smile spread across my face, i swear i must have looked like the joker from Batman. So i then rang wayne and told him to get back to me so that i could tell him the good news. He was just as happy as i was.

Down to the induction suite which was very nice and the midwives where lovely. The lady who took us down was just about to swap shifts to the evening so the new midwife was very kind and explained the whole procedure to me and wayne so that we knew what was going to happen and when. Giving me a pill to start with that had to wait 6 hours to see what effect it had and then a gel base afterwards to thus further my body into thinking its going into labour. Pain in the ass. The only thing they don’t tell you is that you could be in the hospital for days waiting for your little bundle of joy to arrive. After having the pill they sent us to the delivery suite due to lack of beds in the induction suite. This could not have come at a better time…..Our own room with radio and music, birthing ball, bathroom, bed and privacy. I loved it. Wacked on the radio and got the ball out to sit on because a friend had reccommended it when you start getting contractions.

As time slowly crept and faded into the distant past me and wayne got more and more impatient and more and more bored. It was the evening so everyone was telling us to sleep, especially me because i would need my energy to give birth. Only problem they forget is that CONTRACTIONS ARE PAINFUL. At the point of trying to get some well deserved shut eye it was 4.30am and me and wayne curled up on the bed together so that he could give me a cuddle. After sleeping for what felt like 6 years, i awoke to a pain in my lower abdomin. This was a painful contraction and it was damn near impossible to go near me, get up, move around or anything. They got worse by the time 5.15am came so not even an hours sleep on whats concidered to be the biggest ordeal of my life.

As time went on the contractions worsened, but Wayne had figured out the monitor they had me on so when i was going to get a contraction he took me through breathing and calmed me down so i would not panic and be able to cope with the pain. When i got into established labour i thought enough was enough, i was tired and everything seemed more painful than what it probably was. So i went for an epidural. That was painful getting into my back but made everything a hell of a lot easier. This was around 6.30pm saturday evening i had this done. From that time seemed to go really quickly, still didn’t manage to get any rest, neither did wayne because he wanted to stay awake and support me. After another 8 hours and 45 minutes our gorgeous baby girl Lilith-Rose was born at 3.20am Sunday 17th June 2012. I could not have been happier.

The huge reliefe that swept over me and wayne. The tiredness was worth it all to see this gorgeous little baby in my arms. 6 pounds and 12 ounces was what she weighed. So tiny! Wayne had a hold of her and fed her after she had been weighed. Just watching them both was amazing to me. Giving birth to something so tiny and so precious that you automatically love with all your heart is completely surreal. I could not be happier to have her here with us.

She is now home and 2 weeks old. Parenting is not what i thought it would be. It is not a walk in the park. The main thing is the crying, that gets frustrating because you want them to talk to you and tell you whats wrong but they cant. Its especailly strange to me because Wayne has a 3 year old that can talk lots and Lilith is only a baby so i ask her whats wrong and she cries, no words. I am picking up her cries though and you just go into “auto” mode where you go through certain things to make her happy. Other than that everything is pretty much perfect with her and she loves her cuddles with both me and wayne and his little one is certainly warming to her and loves her baby sister.

Me and Wayne have also had a huge realisation over the past month about our relationship too. So we are happily now being a family unit and making a life together. I could not be happier with how my life is turning out now. I can look to the future and smile about what is to come. I have thought about my future career and taking on a course to help get me onto a university degree when Lilith is 2.

Confidence is one thing all women have problems with after being pregnant. Before i got pregnant i wasn’t huge but i wasn’t tiny in body size. I got it to just how i wanted it before i got pregnant. Then i had to watch it expand and grow in weird ways over a period of 9 months. In the space of 20 minutes pushing my daughter out my tummy has shrunk and everything seems to be slowly returning to normal. I’m not going to lie i have the “pregnancy pouch” and stretch marks due to rapid loss in my tummy size. I plan on making an exercise programe to get me back to how i was when i was pregnant to boost my confidence in all the old clothes which now do not fit me. I will do this, i know it will take time and that is what everyone has said to me but i am not “letting myself go” now that i have become a mum. I plan on getting my old body back and finding the time to do my makeup and hair each day as well as looking after my little one. At the moment i haven’t done my hair or makeup because of the sleep deprivation and the fact i need a new foundation anyway and eyelashes. If you are/have been in this situation being pregnant and wanting your figure back, if you have any advice or tips please comment with them!

Anyway after a very long update i plan on keeping this blog up and going while i transverse into motherhood and family life and update with regular photographs and interesting posts about how things are going.




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